The famous Bridgend tour down the years
The famous Bridgend tour down the years

Westminster Whispers

4am is the place for all the top Casuals gossip

Monday 15 Oct 2012
Which current squad member has the oldest girlfriend? Apparently she's an incredible 14 years older than him! Can't be right...



Friday 21 Oct 2011

Which Casual met Roy Keane in a London hotel on Thursday evening and bored the former Man Utd enforcer to death by banging on about the Casuals? This follows similar encounters with Gianfranco Zola, Don Howe and Nick Easter. All makes for an interesting diary entry...


Mon 22 Aug 2011

Which former Casual enjoyed an affair with a housemate in current series of Celebrity Big Brother? Time to speak up...


Tues 2 Aug 2011

Which former Casual went away for a quiet WAGs weekend to Devon last week but sneaked off to the pub at 8pm to see the fit barmaid and didn?t return until 1am? His fiance made him spend the night in the stables.

Friday 1 July 2011
Which current leading Casual has listed 5 people sharing his name as his Facebook friends? All together now: Six Phil Malcolm?s, there?s only six Phil Malcolms...
Wednesday 22 June 2011
Which Casual has taken out a super injunction against this website to prevent his sordid tour antics becoming public knowledge?
Monday 11 April 2011
Which Casual missed a team night out on Sat instead choosing to watch the Jersey Boys musical and has since described it as awesome?
Monday 21 March 2011
Which soon to be married Casual is taking dancing lessons at the request of his wife to be? Already admitting his deficiencies and taking orders and he?s not even tied the knot!
Friday 25 Feb 2011
Which Casual was too scared to pick up his expensive golf ball because a menacing kangaroo was sitting 10 yards from it? Luckily a courageous  "Wally-by" was brave enough to retrieve the ball for him
Thursday 24 Feb 2011
Which Casual was left red faced when trying to chat up a bikini clad Brazilian beauty on a recent Oz excursion? After introducing himself the girl didn?t quite catch his name and responded ?nice to meet you Wally?
Wednesday 5 Jan 2011

Which Casuals missus appears in today?s Daily Mail claiming to be married to someone else? Having been forced to live on a building site in Middle Earth for 6 months who can blame her.

Friday 17 Dec 2010
Which dangerously soppy Casual decorated his facebook page with a pic of himself and his girlfriend alongside a heart-shaped pile of rose petals?   
Wednesday 17 Nov 2010
Which recently wed Casuals legend walked down the aisle wearing more make up than his bride?
Friday 22 Oct 2010
Which Dutch midfield maestro was recently spied at the Church of Scientology in London? The Gaffer is not happy as the views of Scientology do not strictly follow his own Aryan beliefs.


Wednesday 13 Oct 2010

Which hairy wet Casual admitted launching into ?PUNCH KNEE PUNCH? attack mode when provoked by a girl?


Wednesday 8 Sept 2010

Which Casual has just taken up the treasurer role and spent a princely 39k on shares? Surely be better spent on a few nights on the tiles?


Thursday 19 Aug 2010

Which Casuals fell for a spoof text message from ?Puretown?? He would have fallen a long way too!


Thursday 12 Aug 2010

Which Casual recently played in a friendly match for Battersea Ironsides? Luckily he didn?t hobble off with his bad knee.


Thursday 1 July 2010

Which Casual is playing up to his Gok Wan nickname? Fellow Casuals were horrified to see him sporting a grey muscle vest whilst watching the England game. 

Tuesday 20 April 2010

Which Casual claimed he could not make the NPL fixture because of a visit to the Casuals Cottage but was really house hunting up North?


Friday 12 March 2010
Which Casual didn?t trust his Brazilian cleaner and thought that she was knocking off early? He duly set up a web cam to spy on the poor illegal immigrant but his cage was rattled when he found she worked the whole shift.
Friday 5 Mar 2010
Which Casual bumped into the infamous Vanessa Perroncel at a childrens soft play area on Thursday? The woman at the centre of the JT/Bridgey love triangle can clearly sniff a footballer out and was soon fluttering her eyelashes at our man only to be told to fcuk off in no uncertain terms. By his wife.
Thur 21 Jan 2010
On a recent new year Scandanvian excursion, which vertically challenged hairy Casual, not only went out in the rain without his Mac, he also invited her to spend the whole of the following day with the touring Casuals?
Monday 26 Oct 09
Which Casual recently had a stint in the Casuals Dog House for refusing dress up for a fancy dress party.  The theme was "dead celebrity look-a-likes" but given that Russ Abbott, Gary Megson and Oleg Luzhny are all still alive and kicking he didn?t have much to choose from.  He finally got back in the good books by donning a curly wig and going as Kevin Keegan!
Monday 12 Oct 09
Which Casual got injured whilst playing in a works 5-a-side tournament on the eve of the Sutton High match? He claimed that he picked up the injury at training but there is evidence to suggest otherwise.
Thursday 1 Oct 09
Which former Casual had a mare when he was forced to pull up short whilst browsing Red Tube? His sordid pastime was interrupted by his girlfriend and he nearly got away with it by closing his laptop but forgot to turn off the volume.
Thursday 10 Sept 2009
Which Casual admitted in the Oak on Saturday that he was looking forward to the new series of Strictly Come Dancing? Must be a Ginger Rogers fan.
Friday 28 August
Which laid back Casual setting off on a romantic weekend break missed his flight to Ibiza on Friday morning? Maybe next time he should try Russian in the morning.
Friday 21 Aug 09
Which Casual has taken mincing to new levels with his new missus?  The reformed misogynist has stooped so low as to take his TV from the living room to his bedroom so they could watch Shirley Valentine in bed together! 
Monday 10 Aug 09
Which Casual bumped into a former teammate at the weekend and invited him to join the Casuals revolution only to be told he was playing in the Championship this season.
Thursday 23 July 09
Which ill-tempered Casual was left at a loose end by his missus last Saturday whilst she swanned off with her mates to the Lovebox Festival?  Not only was the besotted Casual not allowed to join her he was given strict instructions to clean the oven by the time she got back! 
Tuesday 21 July 2009
Which Casual recently spent $8,000 in a New York strip club with few mates and is now economising to pay off his credit card bill?
Monday 22 June 2009
Which parrot faced former Casual was ejected from the Oval during the Twenty20 World Cup for launching an umbrella javelin style onto the pitch? While being frog-marched off he was heard squawking ?Show me in the rule books where you get thrown out for chucking an umbrella!?
Tuesday 28 April 2009
Which potential tour virgin that recently survived the Rio Carnival,  Iguazu Falls, The terraces at a Boca Juniors game, Ice trekking on the Perito Moreno glacier in Patogonia, Sand boarding in Death Valley Chile and scaling over 4000m altitude on the Inca trail has declined an invitation to Bridgend as he is too scared?
Tuesday 21 April 2009
Which Casual had one too many herbal cakes whilst on a business trip in Amsterdam recently. As a director of the company he shouldn?t really be having a drug fuelled night out on the tiles.
Friday 3 April 2009
Which current Casual will be living and working in Germany from May? His appearances next season will be few and far between but better get him signed up anyway.
Mon 30 Mar 2009
Which Casual has employed the British woman who narrowly avoided a jail sentence for allegedly shagging on a beach in Dubai?
Friday 6 Mar 2009
Which Casual is in hot water after a dabbling in spot of tonsil tennis with a colleague at a work do?  Thinking he had whisked her off to a secluded corner, he didn?t realise he was still in full view of his workmates.  Luckily, the CEO (who the lucky lady is presently dating) was not in attendance.  There?ll be murders when he finds out though...
Thursday 5 Mar 2009
Which vertically challenged new Casuals recruit has been banned by his missus from showering with her after he urinated on her leg when she asked him to join her for a romantic wash down?
Monday 23 Feb 2009
Which Casual is sporting two black eyes and a broken nose after Saturday?s game? Not ideal considering he is off on a little journey to Amsterdam to sack 700 staff this week.
Thursday 19 Feb 09
Which Casual is still being hunted by Mick from Battersea Park over an unpaid invoice? He was hoping that Wandsworth Council would write off the 700 debt after 3 years but they are still looking to track him down.
Wednesday 18 Feb 2009
Which Casual got stoked up at the Battersea Beer festival and then ended up dancing with a voluptuous Hen Party only for his girlfriend to walk into the bar.
Friday 13 Feb 2009
Which Casual is missing the Puretown game so he can wine and dine his new missus in Brighton? Lets hope this Valentines Day treat keeps her happy.
Thursday 12 Feb 2009
Which Dracula look-a-like was duped into believing that the game was back on last Saturday and that the score was 7-7? Not only this but he also believed that Ian the Groundsman, Godwin and one of the staff from the Oak were in the team.
Friday 23 Jan 2009
Which Casual enjoyed a romantic skiing trip with his ex last week? Little did her current boyfriend know who she went with. The poor guy thought she went with her mates! 
Monday 22 Dec
Which former Casuals Gaffer had a ?Robin Hood? moment recently when a nose-to-nose confrontation with a neighbour ended with our hero threatening to smash in all the windows of his 4x4 with a sledgehammer!
Monday 8 Dec 08
When firing into a bird on Saturday night, which celebrity murderer?s opening line was "What?s your favourite film? Mine?s the Shawshank Redemption!" Lets hope such lines are not part of the ?New Regime?.
Friday 5 Dec 08
Which former Casuals captain and manager refused to celebrate his 41st birthday on Thursday instead choosing to sulk in his Surrey mansion?
Monday 24 Nov 2008
Which Casual?s recent birthday jaunt to Amsterdam resulted in him being tucked up in bed by 4pm (yes 4pm!) on the Saturday afternoon and sleeping right through until the Sunday morning?  The 20 hour rum-induced snooze-fest was even more remarkable considering it was only a 36 hour trip! Apparently, rather than being angry with his performance, the former boozer enjoyed it so much he plans to celebrate his actual birthday by throwing a slumber party at his East London flat!  All Casuals are invited and pyjama?s, hot water bottles and cocoa will be provided.
Thursday 20 Nov 2008
Which recent signing can?t make training tonight as he?s going to bingo? Cup of Tea number three!
Tuesday 18 Nov 2008
Which Casuals had a ?secret? WAGs night out last Tuesday at the Comedy
Club in East London? Little did they know that there would be a blood
sucking angry punch up during the performance.
Monday 10 Nov 2008
Which Casual pulled apprentice finalist Claire Young in inferno?s on Saturday night? She was the short fat mouthy one in case you?d forgotten
Wednesday 29 Oct 2008
Which Casuals prankster was dipping loaves of bread in soup and throwing them at the entertainers at Gav Wall?s birthday medieval night in the city? One girl was crying in the toilets saying her whole night had been ruined
Thursday 23 October 2008
Which club legend and self styled ?Mad Dog? has three love hearts on his mobile phone screensaver?
Monday 13 October 2008
Following the revelation of the Rosebud two seasons ago, which other Casual accidentally revealed a secret tattoo on the underside of his arm? He quickly yanked his T-shirt to cover the tattoo but the damage was already done
Tuesday 7 October 08
Which Casual forgot to tell his girlfriend he was partying in Ibiza for a week? Things weren?t very rosy after she called his office only to be told of his whereabouts by his secretary
Wednesday 1 October 2008 
Which Casual had a mouse living in his car last week? Having found a number of nibbled sweets strewn across the back seat after Saturday?s game he put a mousetrap in the car and sure enough it snapped the little rodents back bone as it rooted around for more food.
Wednesday 27 August 2008
Which crippled former Casuals left back took an earful of abuse when his drunk mates rang Gordon Ramsay?s doorbell and ran off leaving him to cop loads of flak from the notoriously rude celebrity chef
Wednesday 20 August
Which former trainspotting Casual idiot suffered "severe grazing" to his shoulder, forearm, hand and leg when his new puppy pulled its lead out of his hand and raced toward the road only to be "rugby tackled" amid high pitched wailing by the former defender who suffered his second canine related injury of the summer?
Friday 1 August
Which former trainspotting Casual left his new dog with a former Casuals player-manager only for it to run off during its first walk! The half-scouse ex-ex-ex gaffer spent hours looking for it but gave up only for "the bloody thing" to turn up in the morning.
Tuesday 15 July 2008
Which club legend recently suffered four serious stings when attacked by a swarm of wasps? The ageing Ascot dweller disturbed a hornets nest in his loft and risked life and limb by leaping out of the hatch at uncharacteristic speed but has since complained of swelling and light headedness.
Friday 4 July 2008
Which former Casual spent less than 24 hours at this year?s Glastonbury festival because he didn?t like the mud? At the first sight of rain he decided to head ?right back? to London.
Tuesday 13 May 2008
Which teenage Casual has threatened to drink the Hitman under the table at the club reunion on 31st May?
Thursday 17 April 2008
Which newsreading Casual fan and Jim Bowen lookalike took his new bird to the gym on their first date? His amorous advances in the swimming pool were quickly called to a halt by staff who pointed out the ?No Petting? sign and asked them to leave.
Wednesday 2 April 2008
Which two die hard Liverpool fans used the Merseyside derby as an opportunity for a double date? They were a bit angry until Torres scored, but everything turned out rosy in the end.
Tuesday 18 March 2008
Which member of the Casuals 2007 tour party described to the nation on Radio 1 how he was strip searched upon entering New Zealand recently. Apparently a sniffer dog took a liking to him and he was led to a windowless room and ordered to undress by two large men. "No rubber gloves were used" he claimed.
Thursday 21 February
Which former Casuals? secret allotment is being taped off by Government officials because of a potential foot and mouth outbreak?
Monday 11 Feb 08
Which Casual is booking a romantic and incredibly expensive outing to the English National Ballet for Valentine?s night for his Eastern European Lady? And all this when he should be earning ex-Casuals their fortune (or at least making their tea)
Monday 4 Feb 2008
After bragging all afternoon about where he was going for dinner that evening which Casual was left enraged on Saturday night after turning up at Gordon Ramsay?s restaurant with no booking and being turned away? It wasn?t just Ramsay who was using the "f" word!
Wednesday 9 Jan 2008
Which hairy toed Casual was thrown out of Stamford Bridge by the police during Tuesday night?s Carling Cup semi final between Chelsea and Everton? Reports that he managed to clamber back in again have not yet been confirmed.
Monday 7 Jan 2008
Which intelligent sounding Casual suffering from long term injury was flying down the ski slopes last weekend?
Friday 21 December 2007 
Which Casual will appear in March?s Good Housekeeping magazine? He recently had a photographer in his impeccable Raynes Park pad for 6 hours snapping away at him posing in different rooms.
Wednesday 21 Nov 2007
Which new driver got flashed twice in one manoeuvre by going through a red light and then stopping in the yellow grid. The Casual in questio is ?crabbing? himself as he waits to see if he will receive six points and lose his license!
Monday 5 November 2007
Which short fused Casual has been sending friend requests round to other Casuals like it?s going out of fashion? This is the same Casual who questioned the same people?s sexuality for registering on the social networking site. Interestingly he describes himself as being in an ?open? relationship in his profile!
Friday 2 Nov 2007
Which Casual gaffed recently when he got into difficulties parking his car in a tight spot. After a long spell trying to manoeuvre his car he didn?t feel he could move either way without hitting the cars parked either side so he panicked, got a "real sweat on" and just walked away. When he finally got back he had a penalty fine for parking outside the bay.
Thursday 18 Oct 2007
Which Casual tipster?s gambling habit has gone from bad to worse in recent weeks? Following a run of failed football bets he turned to the Rugby World Cup to try and recoup his losses but unpatriotic punts on odds on favourites Australia and then France to knock out England have cost him dearly. Lets hope he backs the Saffa?s on Saturday.
Tuesday 25 Sept 2007
Which Casuals practical joker doesn?t like it when the tables are turned? This serial stink bomber took such exception to having his favourite shirt covered in fart spray while on Barnard?s stag weekend he chinned the sprayer!
Tuesday 28 August 2007
Which departing Casual was found asleep outside Mish Mash in Clapham after the first club social of the season?
Monday 13 August 2007
Which Chelsea supporting Casual lost 100 on betting that Man Utd would beat Reading at home on the Premiership?s opening weekend? "It was a banker" wailed the Casual?s worst tipster...
Wednesday 18 July 2007
Which Casual outrageously pulled a sobbing 18 year old Don King lookalike on a night bus last weekend? The man in question put a consoling arm around the teenager who had just been dumped by her boyfriend and took her back to his place. Let?s hope he rose to the occasion.
Monday 9th July 2007
Which regular Casuals tourist will find out on Friday whether or not he has made it into the next series of  BBC1?s ?The Apprentice?? If he does the boys will be hoping he won?t give the club - a bad name.....
Tuesday 15 May 2007
Which self-proclaimed Man of the Match winning boozer ended recent celebrations at The Valley by imbibing pints of water? His fellow Casuals are sure to be very angry at any repeat on tour. 
Monday 8 May 2007
Which confirmed Bridgend tourist reinforced his Brokeback reputation by pulling out of the tour? This defector met the Casuals for the first time on Saturday and soiled his pants when he heard just what goes on in deepest darkest Wales. He spent the rest of the weekend agonising before crying off.
Thursday 3 May 2007
Which former Casual downed a bottle of stolen vodka in a pub at the weekend? This traitor claims to love the Casuals but has booked a weekend away in our biggest hour of need.
Monday 23 April 2007

Which hairy casual, having wolfed down a fair few pints, was found wandering around a former casual?s bedroom whilst he was in bed with his partner recently? The tucked up former stopper exclaimed, "What are you doing in here !!??", to which the drunk casual replied, " just looking for some water, I must have taken a wrong turn, sorry.....".

Monday 16 April 2007
Which angry Casual enjoyed a rare sexual success on Saturday night? Sadly his conquest?s repulsive features led to his mates to christening her ?Peter Beardsley?. Even worse for her was leaving with a mouthful of ginger pubes.
Wednesday 14 February 2007
Which former Casual enjoyed a birthday meal alongside Pierce Brosnan this week? Our man joked with the ex James Bond that he should be careful pouring the wine since he?s lost his licence to spill.
Monday 29 January 2007
Mirror Mirror on the wall who is the cutest of them all? Which Casuals? new bird entered herself into the Daily Mirror?s ?Britain?s Top Cutie? competition? The Worcester babe is now in a stable relationship with one of WCFC?s finest.
Wednesday 17 January 2007
Which Casual took his very new girlfriend to a Turkish Bath on Sunday morning? The casual is question thought romancing his myspace model Turkish style would gee things up for them both.
Thursday 11 January
Which Casual has been double dating with an S- Club 7 ?star? recently? The other fella playing four-ball might want to lock up his sister.
Monday 8 January
Which Casual was spotted employing his usual desperate Roadhouse tactics of buying two 50+ mingers very late night drinks. Times must be tough however for the lothario who opted for bottles of Corona rather than the usual champagne.
Tuesday 19 December
Which Casual was spotted employing his usual desperate Roadhouse tactics of buying two 50+ mingers very late night drinks. Times must be tough however for the lothario who opted for bottles of Corona rather than the usual champagne.
Friday 30 November
Which senior Casual was almost involved in an unsightly tear up after training on Thursday night? This individual took exception to the way the squad were asked to vacate the facility by the following party. Following a series of threats an ugly fracas and great consternation were only narrowly avoided by some Hobbit diplomacy....
Tuesday 14 November
Yet another unhygienic Casual has a problem with mice in his flat! This midfielder has called in Lofty the Verminator to clean up and leave the place smelling of roses.
Friday 20 Oct
Which Casual had a pen thrown at him at work which hit him on the forehead and made it bleed? He responded by bending back the fingers of the pen chucker so far he heard a crack. He was then kicked in the shins so the Casual went to smack the bloke but the pair were separated by their manager - all of which happened in the office!
Friday 29 Sept
Which Casuals fan recently proposed to his long term girlfriend just days after she secured a 20,000 pay rise?
Monday 18 Sept
Which lame Casual tried to cover up the lovebites on his neck with Colgate toothpaste at the weekend?
Wednesday 6 Sept
Which Casuals legend recently proposed as his missus "served up some chips" proving the way to this lads heart is through his bloated stomach.
Tuesday 5 Sept
Which Casual is threatening a comeback just weeks after leaving the club? Watch this space for further details.
Tuesday 28 August
Which Casual has really broken a taboo by threatening to bring his new girlfriend to training? Apparently "she?s brilliant".  
Tuesday 22 August
Which long faced Casual spent two days galloping around abusing people at the V Festival? As usual he got steaming drunk in no time and was horsing around, jumping on strangers and was lucky not to get a right shoeing.
Thursday 10 August
Which Casual was recently seen holding hands with a bird that bore an uncanny resemblance to Jimmy ?the chin? Hill?
Friday 21 July
Which Veteran Casual threw a(nother) sickie on Friday. He told his boss he had a virus when in fact he has "chaffed his arse" from playing too much golf.
Monday 10 July
Which Casual phoned the Gaffer during the second half of the World Cup Final, completely oblivious to the fact that the football biggest match on the planet was taking place.
Thursday 6 July
Which Casual may have his legendary status rescinded after his admission that he bawled his eyes out after England?s penalty shoot out defeat. Our man slipped out of a wedding reception to view the ill feted spot kicks but stunned fellow guests by breaking down like his hero Gazza in Italia 90.
Wednesday 21 June
Which two Casual Worcester Boys had a fight while watching the England v Sweden game on Tuesday evening? One ripped a nicorette patch off the other?s neck which resulted in a tirade of swearwords followed up with a swift punch in the ear. His ?mate? is now sporting a puffed up cauliflower ear.
Thursday 8 June
Which Casual had the shock of his life recently when his current girlfriend and recent ex got together for a chin wag? The pace man with attitude spent the evening crouched terrified in the corner.
Tuesday 30 May
Which traveling Casual flew from Peru to Mexico just so he could give his new girlfriend a tearful send off? This usually tight wide boy must be in love.
Thursday 18 May
Which Casual has blood pressure so high, the doctor thought his machine was broken. A third attempt to take the reading with a hand held kit confirmed both their fears.
Thursday 27 April
Which Casuals are booked into an Arctic Monkey?s after party tonight with Noel Gallagher in Brixton? Let?s hope the players in questions don?t cause a stink.
Wednesday 26 April
Which Casual has been busted for regularly using fake tan? The surprisingly guilty defender was grassed up by his better half over the weekend.
Wednesday 12 April
Which Casual (not the previous one mentioned) is also soon to pop the question? The player in question is doing his best to keep things as quiet as possible at the moment, only telling a select few mates.
Friday 7 April
Which Casual was trying to start a fight with everyone in Clapham on Thursday night?
He was on a mission to turn Bar Indigo into Fight Club but if he?s not careful he will end up with a flat nose.
Wednesday 5 April
Which Casual wined and dined a busty Canadian cocktail waitress from the Roadhouse on Tuesday night? Her claims that she has 7 boyfriends on the go doesn?t worry our man who lavished her with champagne and margaritas as he explained the offside rule.
Friday 31 March
Which antipodean former International may be signing with the Casuals? Just four years ago he was playing against Viera, Pires, Henry & Co at the Stade de France.
Thursday 30 March
Which Westminster Casual once turned up for work 3 hours late still drunk, and when the boss said we?re letting you go, said "Thanks, I?m still bollaxed from last night" only to be told "No we?re letting you go for good."
Wednesday 29 March
Whilst Geordie was guzzling fish fingers from the Gaffer?s freezer at poker night, which absent Casual was getting a different kind of fish fingers at a friend?s birthday party?
Tuesday 21 March
Which Casual is proposing to his girlfriend this week? The player in question is terrified of the knock back so may bottle it.
Thursday 16 March
What high powered Casual had one of his shoes nicked by a colleague on Thursday morning? The player is question is currently walking around one of Europe?s busiest trade floors in a pair of stinking trainers.
Monday 13 March
Which former Casual supposedly on a crash diet was publicly rumbled on Sunday when he was spotted walking down Kingston High Street chomping on a Big Mac.
If his strict missus found out he would have some explaining to do.
Wednesday 8 March
Which London bank working Casual lost 100 million of trade for his employer at the weekend? The Casual in question has been getting bollockings all week from bosses all over the world.
Friday 3 March
Which Casual recently pulled what was described as a Brazilian Dawn French? He was left long faced after he failed to samba his way into her huge knickers.
Thursday 2 March
Which Casual blew a grand of his bosses money in Stringfellow?s last night? The midfielder spent the night partying with an Essex blonde, who made him pay to even talk to her.
Monday 27 February
Which Casual was attacked by a Rotweiller in Brazil recently? The Casual in question was visiting a new aquiaintence to ?pick up a parcel? when a guard dog took a disliking to him.
Monday 20 February
Which Casual was recently woken up as his missus tried to strangle him in his sleep? She claimed she was dreaming but it sounds like she was letting him know who?s boss.
Tuesday 7 February
Which Casual, currently living with a gay couple, has adopted the nickname ?Dolphin Boy? from his footloose flatmates. The soon to be departed wide man even kisses his flat mates goodnight on the lips.
Thursday 2 February
Which pair of Casuals who were planning to buy a flat together were asked pointedly by the estate agent "one bedroom or two?" This surprisingly clueless pair also admit to making an offer "without meaning to". 
Tuesday 31 January
Which Westminster Casual cried his eyes out at the weekend? The lazy player apparently sobbed his heart out waving goodbye to his Mum.
Wednesday 25 January
Which Casual likes to dress up in women?s clothes? The older player in question loves nothing better than a pair of high heels, lippy and a nurses outfit behind closed doors.
Monday 16 January
Which Westminster Casual had to be taxied to A&E last week with symptoms of a common cold?
Monday 16 January
Which Casuals? former girlfriend enjoyed a one night stand last week? The next morning this reputedly innocent girl got involved in some randy horseplay and jumped into bed with her conquest?s flatmate!
Tuesday 10 January
Which Westminster Casual knocked one out listening to a fellow team mate shagging in the next room? The Casual in question makes no secret of this depraved act and even admits to doing it in his mates bed.
Thursday 5 January
Which Westminster Casual was meant to be working the door on a NYE Thames boat party, but didn?t do his job properly? Due to his unprofessional approach 40 punters were kicked back off the boat and had to spend NYE walking the streets of London.
Friday 23 December 2005
Which extended Casual tried to cop off with his mate?s bird round the House of Horrors last Saturday night? He even used the classic line ?I?ve got a girlfriend but we can still cuddle? as he climbed into bed with the girl in question.
Wednesday 14 December
Which Casual, soon to depart from these shores lives in a rat infested shithole? Several filthy rodents have been seen running around his kitchen over the last few weeks, prompting serious questions over this player?s hygiene...
Monday 12 December
Which Westminster not so regular was caught trying to buy a round of drinks Saturday night with just two pounds? The Casual in question offered to pay for a massive round and handed over a pile of coppers, euros, buttons and four smarties. Shouting ?take my money? he was caught out and embarrassed immediately...
Wednesday 7 December
Which Westminster Casual was offered outside by a bank robber on Sunday? The Casual lothario had politely asked the elderly gym user to finish up, as the gym was closing but the pensioner turned round and threatened the midfielder, who turned out to be a notorious London bank robber.
Monday 5 December 2005
Which Casual bored a London party stupid on Saturday talking about Worcester City?s FA Cup run? By the end of the night everyone was avoiding the Casual like the plague for fear of him chewing their ear off about City.
Monday 28 November 2005
Which Casual player stitched his ?mate? right up this week over weekend antics. This Casual prankster should be on his toes, his ?mate? is planning big revenge.
Monday 21 November 2005
Which Casual has fallen out with his partner in crime over a new girlfriend? Things have got that bad this Westminster favourite looks set to move out of their South London flat if differences can?t be resolved.
Monday 14 November 2005
Which Westminster Casual gave his antiopedian lover a black eye at the weekend, while getting down to business? The player in question was apparently really upset and apologetic after he head butted his Australian lover. She?s now walking round with a shiner!



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